Tales from the Tourist Trap

*238

malfoyy:

“What do you think he sees in her?” “She’s smart… funny… attractive…” “Attractive?” “Well you know… she has nice… skin.” “So you think he is going out with her because she has nice skin?” “Well, I dunno, I’m just saying it could be a contributing factor.” “Hermione’s got nice skin. You know, as far as skin goes.” “I’ve never thought about it before. But now that you mention it, yeah. Very nice… I think I’ll be going to bed now.”

“What do you think he sees in her?”
“She’s smart… funny… attractive…”
“Attractive?”
“Well you know… she has nice… skin.”
“So you think he is going out with her because she has nice skin?”
“Well, I dunno, I’m just saying it could be a contributing factor.”
“Hermione’s got nice skin. You know, as far as skin goes.”
“I’ve never thought about it before. But now that you mention it, yeah. Very nice… I think I’ll be going to bed now.”

Jim Sturgess performs w/Across The Universe cast (via sarksmistress)

*299

kari-shma:

And I think to myself what a wonderful world (via ingridesign)

*105

kari-shma:

Smells like teen spirit #2 (via ingridesign)

*319

flickflickflicker:

hasslethehoff:meatsack:worb:ratherconfused:canadaaustin:acroatic:
floatingintheblue:(via mischiefmanaged-)

An Awesome Book.

*345

(via flickflickflicker)

i tell myself this all the time lol

*163

flickflickflicker:

it’s never going to stop being funny, okay?

i had a professor that would ask you to leave class if you spoke anything positive about creed ever.

*147

(via malfoyy)

beautiful

*44

(via flickflickflicker)

i love notalwaysright.com

Techie: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “We just moved my grandmother’s TV and I think the cable has been disconnected at the outlet where we moved it. Could you send someone to reconnect it?”
(Suddenly, the grandmother grabs the phone.)
Caller’s grandmother: *yelling* “That is not what happened! The cable has been hooked to that outlet since the 70’s! You people just need to flip the little switch and turn it back on!”
(The grandson gets back on the phone.)
Caller: “I am so sorry. Please ignore her. I just need to set up an appointment for the technician to come out.”
Techie: “No problem. My grandmother can be like that too. I can have someone out on Tuesday.”
Caller’s grandmother: *yelling in the background* “You are not listening! All they have to do is flip the switch! Don’t let them lie to you!”
Caller: “Grams, when you moved the TV back in the ’80’s you had the cable disconnected from this outlet and reconnected at the other end.”
Caller’s grandmother: “Now you’re lying! I’m going to make sure that I’m not here when they come out. This is ridiculous! Tell them not to come!”
Techie: “Tell her that our switch is broken here and we have to manually come out and flip it in her home. We’ll be there Tuesday.”
(The grandson relays this information.)
Caller’s grandmother: “Oh, okay then. I’ll see them Tuesday.”
Caller, to me: “Bless you.”

*79

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

flickflickflicker:

fivefifteen:

Men Without Hats | The Safety Dance

‘Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well, they’re no friends of mine.

*60

"‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.’"

Bilbo Baggins (via ohyesjulesdid) (via un) (via flickflickflicker)

*137

kari-shma:

Untold (via xdesx)

via static.funnyjunk.com